I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
