dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
it's great music for shaving your balls
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
