Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
