she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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