she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
