I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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