...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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