ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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