Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
