God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
