my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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