I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's blow job season.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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