I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Randomize
