put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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