Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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