he puts the penis in happiness.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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