dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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