Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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