So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
