We're like a lot better than the average bears
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
