So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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