I could make wine with my vomit
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
