why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
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she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
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T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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