I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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