Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
