i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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