Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
