What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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