Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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