i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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