he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
