don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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