He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
