I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize