D3 body, D1 cock
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
