You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
