I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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