its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
