Umm I'm too high to move.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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