Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
