Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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