If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
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Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
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Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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