So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
