Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
