i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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