her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
