So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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