Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
