So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
