Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
