This girl is more easily done than said...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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