I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
