The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
