she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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