i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
