That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
