You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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