He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
