i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
