Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
