This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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