It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
