Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
