if only i could text you this smell
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
