would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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