Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
