Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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