He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
