She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
